I have crawled through people. Through creation’s glorious sculpture half intact and half rendered unrecognizable by the crude forces of man and nature, by laws of physics barely understood by Newton mixed with the randomness of who and what survives one day versus the next. These explorations stay with me and mount up demanding attention, some reconciliation between before and now and after that we imagine and therefore insist is possible. I know of no such reconciliation, no catharsis, no meaningfulness to be found in this destruction. I am simply witness to it and a participant in whatever happens going forward, randomly assigned by schedules and choices made weeks, months, years and even generations ago. I am there/here in all those moments and all the moments going forward after the event, whether I believe it true or not. This is called being a doctor. A surgeon. A lover of life and people and anatomy and the mess it all adds up to.